Performance Artist, or Just Another Weirdo?

Defining performance art, and attempting to fathom the deep, obscure meaning behind a few bizarre performance art pieces.

Wikipedia’s definition of performance art is: “Performance art can be any situation that involves four basic elements: time, space, the performer’s body, and a relationship between performer and audience.”
Okay, so according to Wiki; anyone, anywhere, in a body, interacting with other people is performance art. Hey, good for us! We’re all performance artists!

But if this is such a common art form, why has it caused such a stir? Is it the artistic nature of the act that attracts people to stop and watch a performance artist, or the same morbid fascination that people feel when they slow down when driving past the site of an accident?


Breath?

Here we have a picture of a performance art piece in progress. It must be going well, as this performer has quite a crowd watching him. But have they stopped to admire the creative nature of the project, or do they pity the naked guy because it’s cold?

Let’s try to understand the piece, us viewers who haven’t been told what the objective of the work is. We have a naked guy, on a cold rainy day, sitting in a public place, sealed in a plastic bubble. But what does it mean?

1. He’s trying to show the world how cruel and heartless people are that they would stand and watch a naked man shivering without doing anything to help him. 
2. He’s re-enacting his experience in the womb, and expressing that he has a chilly relationship with his mother. 
3. He ran out of his meds. 

Paula Kerstens

Being a performance artist must be pretty cool. They get to wear black and walk around with plastic bags over their heads.

Shall we embark upon the quest of meaning?

1. She’s the modern embodiment of the Mona Lisa, with strict views on littering. How original. 
2. The girl in the photo is auditioning for a new movie, “Dude, where’s my bag?” 
3. Her psychiatrist wasn’t available for her session on the day this photo was taken. 

Quinn Dukes

This performance seems pretty bizarre, but it’s quite simple, actually. The gigantic tomato is giving birth to woman with a fluffy head. See? It’s easy to understand art if you don’t look below the surface. Or, wait, maybe the normal sized tomato is giving birth to a tiny half-human half-animal creature.

Oh, I don’t know anymore… Could it mean that;
The artist has a sloshing fetish (Using food items for sexual gratification)
If we’re not careful with genetically modified food, one day tomatoes will start procreating and siring fully dressed, mature adult human beings.
This woman confused the large hand-sewn tomato with her strait-jacket.

Ye Fu

Ye Fu and another artist lived in a glass house for a month as part of a performance art piece. They exposed their daily home lives to the world, yet separated themselves from the outside world.

Were they trying to:

1. Prove that we are all in fact transparent as human beings, and have nothing to hide? 
2. Show that everyone has barriers (The glass walls), no matter how much of ourselves we reveal? 
3. Make money by doing nothing but mooch around the house all day. 

Striptease to Save the Trees

Yes, there are some performance art works that actually have a point. Even for us non-believers, the meaning of this act is clear. The artist intends to distract the driver of the truck with her keen fashion sense and by waving her megaphone at him, all done in an attempt to save the trees.

This act certainly contains the four elements of Performance art; time, space, the performer’s body and a relationship between the performer and the audience. And to flesh out the fullness of the artwork, this artist has solicited a reaction from her target audience – the driver has stopped the truck.


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Human Chameleon Body Art

Chameleon body painting camouflages the model, creating a near invisible effect. These beautiful body art works make it seem as though the artist's model is merging with the background.

Body painting is the practice of using the human body as a canvas. The models are most often nude, or wearing just the bare minimum. Too much clothing and the body art, severed by the hems, can lose its seamlessness.

The following body paintings have been painted in such a way that the models seem to fade into the background, as if wearing an invisible cloak.
Painstaking attention to details, colors and lighting makes these works possible, with the models staying motionless for hours while the artist is busy.


Wallpaper Camouflage Painting by Emma Hack

In these body painting pieces, body painting artist Emma Hack uses decorative wallpaper as a background. She continues the wallpaper’s patterns on the model’s body, carefully lining up the edges of the designs and keeping the colors consistent.
On average, these body paintings take nine hours, but it can take up to 19 hours to complete a piece, depending on the level of detail required and how much of the body she will be painting.
Although the model’s skin is visible in many of these pieces, the effect is such that the nude woman seems to be a part of the wallpaper.

Environmental Camouflage Body Painting

These models have been painted in rural and industrial surroundings that would otherwise be quite plain. The artist studies the textures of the model’s background, meticulously painting rotting wood, rusting metal or flaking old paint onto the models’ bare skin.

Painting straight lines onto a body that has curves and hollows can be quite difficult. The artist must be sure to compensate for the shape of the body in order to recreate the straight edges found in architecture.
In these works of art, lighting and camera position are very important. If the model casts a shadow against the background, or moves even slightly, the human chameleon optical illusion can be lost.


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Animal Owners Tattoo Their Pets

Is tattooing an animal inhumane, or is it art? Animal Rights lobbyists exclaim in horror as animals receive decorative tattoos from their owners, claiming that animals can’t choose whether or not to not have the tattoos done.

Identification Tattoos

Owners of rare or valuable pets have the option to tag their pets with an identification tattoo. The marking deters theft, and if the pet is found, the code can be traced back to the owner of the animal. The tattoo allows a person to know who the breeder of the animal is and the litter number that the animal came from, which authenticates the lineage of the animal. These tattoos are performed while the animal is under anesthetic, at a young age.

This dog has a Hello Kitty tattoo on its belly, apparently for identification purposes. The dog was tattooed by its owner, while under anesthetic. The actual tattooing process wasn’t particularly cruel, but now this poor pooch must live in Hello Kitty hell, unable to lift its leg in public for fear of other dogs seeing the abominably cutesy cat face.

Tattooed Fish

Do fish have feelings? Hopes? Dreams? Would they approve of having hearts, spots and stripes tattooed onto them in garish pinks, greens and blues?
Who knows? Unless we find fish whisperers to talk to the little guys and ask them their opinion; tattooed fish will continue to be a lame fad for tasteless consumers.

Imported from Singapore and Hong Kong, these tattooed mollies are making their way into fish tanks across the globe. The actual process of the inking is unclear. Some say the fish are sucked into a clear tube and then tattooed with a laser, other say the fish are tattooed in the traditional needle and ink method.

Do fish feel pain, or are they just a vegetable that moves? The ink is only scale deep, so it is debatable whether the fish are hurt in any way.

Tattooed Pigs

Yet more appalled shrieks from animal lovers, as Belgian tattoo artist Vim Delvoye decorates living pigs with permanent tattoos.

Delvoye says, “I tattoo pigs because they grow fast and they are so much better to tattoo than fish. I tattoo them when they are young and I like the way the artwork stretches and distorts over time. Essentially, we invest in small tattoos and we harvest large paintings.” See full interview here.

The pigs live a peaceful lifestyle on an art farm in China, free to roam and forage for food. Previously destined for the slaughterhouse, these pigs have a full, happy life ahead of them in return for the tattoos on their skin, which are harvested after their death. The pigs are tattooed whilst sedated, and may not even be aware of their own markings.

Animal Rights groups wish to stop unnecessary cruelty towards animals. But is it really so cruel to trade a slaughterhouse death for a few tattoos and a tranquil life on a farm?

Although tattooing animals is not a common practice, it has become a fad amongst tasteless fashion mongers. One can only wonder at the fact that there are laws against children being tattooed, yet there are no laws against the tattooing of animals. Should this practice be illegal or not? 

More on tattooed animals in Meow! Cats with Tattoos or Tattoos of Cats?


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Spiderman Epidemic: Mutant Spidey Kids Appearing Globally

Wall-climbing, web-slinging kiddies’ Spiderman symptoms attributed to outbreak of genetically modified mutant spiders.

A recent outbreak of genetically modified mutant spiders have made their way into homes across the world, infecting small children with super powers, spidey senses and the ability to shoot webbing, climb walls and look awesome in a Spiderman suit.

How do you know if your kid is a Spideyboy?

From a young age they will start wearing Spiderman suits. They will wear these daily, and get upset when mom tries to take it off them for a wash.

This baby Spidey is already exhibiting a tell-tale side effect of the spider venom, as his parent tries to remove the suit. See the fingers curling into a web-shooting pose? Although his web-spinning abilities have not fully formed, the Spidey sense is strong with this one and out of self-defense the little tyke attempts to wrap the offensive adult in a web-cocoon.

You will notice your baby Spiderkid climbing walls, furniture and even large kitchen appliances. These little red and blue menaces may be found hanging from ceiling fans or trees and perching on fence posts as their spidey sense warns them of incoming bad guy vibes.

As their powers grow, you may find them secretively practicing their skills, darting across the garden with super awesome Spiderman moves, while flicking their wrists in an attempt to shoot webbing. Keep domestic animals indoors during this phase.

As your Spider child gets older, he will try to guard his secret identity. You may find him practicing heroic staring into space poses while dramatically tearing off his outer clothing to reveal the Spidey within. Don’t worry. Your child is merely preparing himself for a life of photo shoots and adrenalin-filled movies. It's around this stage that you may also hear your spiderman novice singing show tunes from Spiderman: The Musical.

Even though your Spiderboy is learning to live with a secret identity, he will not have fully developed his disguising abilities yet and can be caught trying out his climbing skills while in undercover mode.

They may start designing their own Spiderman suits, in an attempt to be unique in a world of mini Spideys. This keen attention to detail and love for spandex is a side-effect of their Spidey sense.

It’s a different world now, with many up and coming Spideys. In an attempt to be the one sole Spiderman, your little Spidey may become quite competitive, testing his skills on other Spideyboys. These battles commonly occur between red and black Spideys, and betting on either side is considered bad form.

They will begin to pit their skills against mini baddies. This kid is about to initiate a battle with his little brother, whom he suspects is hiding a bad guy identity beneath his tiny sweater.

Although some parents may feel that this pandemic is a reason for alarm, in a future in which superheroes and supervillians abound, we can rest easy knowing that our friendly neighborhood Spiderboys will be watching over us civilians as we sleep. Possibly clinging to the wall or hanging from a ceiling fan.


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